First I have to apologize to all my girl friends because everything you’re about to read you’ve probably survived hearing through all my tears and my annoying whining. You’ve heard ALL about where I was, but let’s figure out where we could be moving forward as women…
The first boy I ever “dated” was the first one to break my heart, break my trust, and break my boundaries. I was 12, I had no idea who I was, who I wanted to be or where I was headed. I only blame myself for this one. He taught me to stay true to my own boundaries and respect myself.
Next, I had a childish relationship when I was 15 that ended so simply. Nothing overly exciting nor heartbreaking. He taught me I should find spark in my relationships.
Next, I dated a guy who was 4 years older than me when I was 16, and that brought me to too much of a complicated spot because he wasn’t ready to care for a girlfriend when he still needed to work on taking care of himself. He taught me to love myself before sharing my heart.
Then, I met my first love. This was the most exhilarating relationship of my life. I loved him and his family for 4 years. We stuck with each other through so many horrible and wonderful things in our lives. He taught me to forgive no matter what people do to you.
That wasn’t the first time I fell in love while travelling… You’d be surprised how often it can happen. I learned that approximately half the world’s population is male; so don’t ever think there isn’t at least one person out there for you. There are men out there who can be very cultured and intriguing to you…
Then I went through my most recent relationship. We weren’t friends before, he never really gained my trust, he believed he was superman, he was attractive, he was sweet, but he wasn’t the guy I thought he was. I recently found out the kind of guy he is, and that is simply someone I don’t recognize and someone I don’t want to know anymore. I realize now that I actually didn’t know that much about him… Even after 8 months, he lived such a secretive life. But he taught me to trust your partner fully before getting into a committed relationship with them. Yes he was mature, he was romantic and fun, but he hid so many secrets from me, he had alternative motives, he had his own hidden agenda, and I don’t think I ever learned to trust him.
GIRLS: Even though I may explain my lesson learned with biblical scripture, know that the truth behind it is valuable in every sense. I’m not posting this on my blog out of me having a 30+ year successful marriage; There is scriptural truth that God wrote for us to follow, so that our triumph may be with Him. There are promises that God asked me to make to myself before I get into my next relationship. I would like to share these with you because the difference between the ones we’ve dated and the one we’ll marry isn’t necessarily them. A lot of it has to do with us, and how we’ll approach our lifetime partner compared to the way our failed relationships were dealt with.
- Proverbs 31:12- To always bring our partners good, not bad, for all the days of our lives
- Compliments
- Know your partner’s love language (http://www.5lovelanguages.com) and honour them through it
- Provers 31:17- Work hard. Work hard for yourself, for your partner, for your family, for your house.
- Always have ambition, passion and goals
- Proverbs 31:20- Open our arms to the poor and let’s extend our hands out the needy.
- Give to those who have less than you
- Sharing is caring
- Live simply so that others may simply live
- Proverbs 31:26- Your voice is very valuable. Use it to speak with wisdom and faithful instruction.
- Speak life into other people
- Don’t gossip; for every bad thing you hear someone say, try thinking of/saying something good about that situation
- Proverbs 31:30- Fear the Lord. This doesn’t mean being scared of God. This means respecting the One on the throne, respecting His kingdom and knowing there is a higher power filled with goodness and love.
- See beauty in everything you do
- Always look for the good in people
- Appreciate where you are
- 1 Peter 3:1-6- Know what it is to give your heart to your relationship with your partner
- Commit to your relationship
- Give 100% effort to everything you do in your relationship
- Titus 2:3-5- Teach people the good things you know and love
- For example, share your favourite quotes with people!
- Empathize
- Proverbs 14:1- Be wise enough to build up your own house, not to tear it down.
- Discuss whatever complication might make you upset
- Deal with your problems in a mature manner without starting unnecessary fights
- Be proud of your house, its joy and its harmony
- Ephesians 5:33- Respect your partner
- Pretty self-explanatory: Don’t try and change who your partner is, work with them!
- You and your partner are equals: speak to them with respect
- 1 Timothy 3:11- Be faithful to your partner
- Honesty and truth bring honour and respect to your relationship
- Matthew 6:33- Put God’s Kingdom first. This means to seek good purpose in our lives for us to positively impact the entire world, step by step, little by little.
- Use your gifts and your talents to change the world a little bit for the better
- Put the needs of others before your own
- Isaiah 66:2- Be humble
- Be modest, live simply
- Count your blessings and always give thanks for what you have
- Philippians 2:3-5- Be selfless
- Love others so radically, they wonder why.
- What would Jesus do? Give as He would give.
- Colossians 3:23- Serve the Lord. Give back to the Heavenly Father who has spent our whole lives looking out for us, sacrificing His son on the cross for us, taking care of us, healing us, forgiving us day after day, and creating a perfect and individual plan for each of us.
- Matthew 25:40 “Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.”
- Pray for other people, including your enemies
- Psalm 46:5- Believe and trust God will catch us if we are ever scared of falling.
- Ladies, you are being looked after. God didn’t create your heart for it to be broken by human behaviour, He created you strong, beautiful, wonderful, powerful, delightful, winsome and exquisitely.
- God stands behind you in everything you do, in order to catch you if you ever fall
Being the best version of ourselves not only makes God smile, but it also prepares us for the obstacles that will come our way as sons, daughters, sisters, brothers, friends, leaders, students, mentors, disciples, workers, etc. Everywhere we go there might be hardships. It was not promised to us that life would be easy, but we were created to overcome our struggles with God on our side.
Be the best woman you can be. Be the best version of you that you can be.
You deserve good things:
2 Peter 3:9- He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish.
Jeremiah 29:11- “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Psalm 46:5- God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day.
Proverbs 3:15- She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her.
Psalm 61:2- From the ends of the earth I will cry to you; when my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
Exodus 14:14- The Lord will fight for you. You need just be still.